The holidays are a joyful time for most people, but they can also bring that familiar ache of grief. As we gather with friends and loved ones to share meals and exchange gifts, we are painfully aware of those who are not with us—those we have lost. Grief demands its own place at the table, whether invited or not.
It can be tempting to hide our feelings of grief and loss and try to focus on the fun, but author and grief expert David Kessler recommends that we include our loss in our holiday. When we say the name of our loved one who has passed away, and when we share memories of them, we include them in our time of togetherness.
With that dual experience of joy and grief in mind, Hospice of North Central Oklahoma (HNCO) created the Tree of Life campaign. Seeking to find ways to honor the memories of loved ones, HNCO created a tradition of crafting handmade ornaments and personalizing them with the names of departed loved ones and hanging those ornaments on community Christmas trees.
Over the years, the Tree of Life Campaign has changed and evolved to meet the needs of our community. Dating back to before Hospice even took their first patient in 1982, the campaign began with paper ornaments made by staff and volunteers. In those early days, there was just one tree. Over time, more trees were set up across the larger community, with trees now placed in Newkirk, Tonkawa, Blackwell and Ponca City. For a time, trees were even set up at local elementary schools for children to make and dedicate their own ornaments. The current ornaments are created by local company F&M Welding and Fabrication and then powder coated by Custom Powder and Blasting.
One of the most touching parts of the Tree of Life campaign has been the tree lighting ceremonies and memorial services that have been held in the past. Perhaps the most memorable of these was held at Ponca Plaza, back when the tree was a real evergreen in the bustling shopping center. Immediately following the Ponca City Lighted Christmas Parade, community members came together to sing carols, pray for their departed loved ones and dedicate the tree and its ornaments to their memories. That shared experience brought comfort and togetherness to a time that can often feel so isolating.
This year, Hospice of North Central Oklahoma is bringing the Tree of Life lighting ceremony back. In partnership with the Pioneer Woman Museum, HNCO invites community members to come together on Wednesday Dec. 2 to join together in celebration of the holiday season, honor the memories of our loved ones and light our beautiful Tree of Life in their honor.
From 4-5 p.m. inside the Pioneer Woman Museum, attendees who choose to make a donation of any size to HNCO can have personalized ornaments created in honor or memory of their loved one. Then, at 5:15 p.m., a short ceremony will allow all attendees to join together in song and prayer, share the names of the people they grieve and give thanks for the holiday memories we cherish. The ornaments will then be hung on a tree in the gift shop where they will remain throughout the month of December. After the ceremony, we will step outside the museum to light the 21-foot Tree of Life, dedicating the joy the tree brings to the memories of our loved ones. There will be hot chocolate to warm our hands and Christmas carols to warm our hearts.
Whether you’re picking up an ornament or just attending the ceremony, come to the Tree of Life lighting ceremony and remember that you are not alone in carrying grief through this season. And with the support of the team at Hospice of North Central Oklahoma and your fellow community members, you can hold space for that grief, while also finding joy and togetherness.
Photo above features the Newkirk Tree of Life inside the Newkirk Public Library.
This photo from a previous tree lighting ceremony features former Hospice CEO Marta Sullivan, directing the bell choir from First Christian Church.
Community members gathered for the Tree of Life lighting ceremony outside the Ponca Plaza shopping center, back when it still housed JCPenney.
The beautiful 21-foot Tree of Life display, outside the Pioneer Woman Museum, flanked by Hospice of NCO volunteers and team members Rob Davis, Judy Bales, ?????, Carole Kolbe, Sue Lunsford, Kathy Caldron, Royce Caldron, Trudi Stigge, Yvonne Crabs, and Wyatt Crabs.
The beautiful butterfly ornaments created by Lane Fisher and powder blasted by Custom Powder and Blasting are personalized with the name of a loved one before being hung on a community tree.